Hope - An Artist's Journal

Exhibition December 2011

2011-12-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

WIll be open again 1 hour. The photography area looks amazing as does the entrance hallway.

Met one of the other photographers in the photography club on Friday night with his family so that was excellent.

Yesterday I closed the exhibition in the morning so I could finish setting up - now that is done i feel so much happier with it all. Nothing had had lables or prices on them so it looks much better now and i can leave people to walk around themselves rather than having to tell them about everything..

I DO need to change some things in the main area, will do that a bit later on today.

It really is NOT a good week for it all as most people are now away on holidays and it is not really a tourist flow through area. Good learning curve! BUT in a way it is good as the trickle of people coming through is about what i can cope with with being so ill. SO in a way it is the BEST week for me to have had it!

Next year though I will have it in another week

Exhibition week

2011-12-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

Exhibition opens in 4 days! SO MUCH STILL TO DO!!!! Today I am working on the marketing side of things, business cards, invitations, emails etc and finishing off a painting that needs doing

SO MUCH still to do ugh!!! WIll be GREAT once it is all done !!!

apologies

2011-10-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

I apologise that i have not been updating this blog!!!! back into it shortly.

A funny Story

2010-08-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

I went out to Unahi on Sunday Morning and was doing some frottage in preparation for some fish drawings. Well a HUGE gust of wind ripped the paper from my hands and tossed it right over the side of the wharf and into the ocean. 'OH CRAP!"

I called out to some fishermen who were working on their boat - " excuse me, my paper's just blown in the water. Do you have a net or anything you could fish it out with???

Well...you would have thought a baby had fallen overboard!

There was a sudden explosion of activity as an assorted variety of men burst out of the cabin, frantically grabbing gaffs and bits of board (Not Gaffs I thought - imagining the damage they could do to waterlogged paper)

Duely the paper obligingly drifted alongside the boat and was fished out by one burly fellow who admittedly took one look at the few scratchings I had laid down and nearly threw the thing back in the ocean! After a few bawdy comments about my 'priceless work' and much hilarity by the crew my sheet of very expensive very sodden paper was gallantly returned to me amidst much good natured teasing and laughter.

That was not the end of it though - as I packed away my things at the end of the time there I picked up the camera case and let out a yelp feeling like a sharp bit of metal had dug into my finger. "DON'T MOVE" a burly fellow bellowed at me from the decking. Next minute I noticed a large wasp crawling along my trousers, right at a 'delicate' place. Concerned I might be stung again I used both hands to lift my trousers off my thigh so there was no contact with the skin whilst the burly chap went to find something to take it off with. He duely returned with a bright blue rag and seemed about to scoop up the wasp when he realised exactly what 'place' it was sitting right on top of and shuffled backwards looking a little shame faced. Never seen a big man blush! This put me into fits of giggles ending in a very undignified coughing fit as the hilarity of the situation struck me

Eventually the offending insect got tired of waiting for us to 'rescue ' it and gracefully flew off in the direction of the fisherman's truck. Oops!!!!!

Researching ANZAC

2010-03-11T17:17:00.000-08:00

Uncle Gordon and Me

I have been researching about my Uncle who was a Frazer and fought in both WW1 and WW2 and also was part of the NZ forces who were massacred at ANZAC cove - he played the bagpipes to herald the troops onto the beach and was shot, as were many of our troops - being sent in first. He recouperated in a London hospital and another soldier later on, as he travelled through London, returned my Uncles bagpipes to him, still covered in sand and grit as they had been when they were picked up from where they lay.

How amazing to have them returned!

The photos above - I have been practicing painting Fraser tartans in preparation for the actual portrait...

I am intending to do a portrait of him in his uniform on a background of Fraser Tartan surrounded by the Soldier Poppies which have become the emblem of the ANZAC's. It is nice to now begin to collect photos and images of family - my collection of photos was sadly lacking.

All part of me finding my place and who I am really and re-establishing myself with my whakapapa, of finding an identity where I can say - YES THIS is who I am. This is only a wee part of that but important non the less.

2010 is here

2010-02-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

My computer is down at home so HOORAY I am somewhereelse and back on site. Currently I am doing some research for a painting based on ANZAC's so had better get back to it

farewelling friends and working on the oceania series

2009-09-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I did some more work on the snapper painting in oils after a trip out gatehring different kinds of seaweed to use 1. as a mulch on the garden 2. to create seaweed tea to water the plants with and 3. to use as a resource for finishing the snapper painting.

Some of the weeds were stunning - all collected fromt he beach where they were washed up so environmentally friendly gathering expedition - check out this scarlet coloured weed resting on the beach sand...

Also used some of the items collected when beachcombing for the inspriation behind painting up an old tyre which i have now filled with soil and planted pumpkins into...

Other news - my dear friend Cecilia left yesterday - this is her in front of a photo i took of her and the baby earlier in the year. Her husband has been relocated with work - has not quite sunk in that they have left yet - a lovely Christian couple whom quickly became part of my heart.

confusion is a problem

2009-09-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

I spent time yesterday working on the next stage of the large oil painiting of the snapper i am working on so it will be finished and dry in time for the november and December exhibitions ( of which them theme will be "The Artist's Oceanic Garden".

However i find I am struggling to overcome mental fatigue and become quickly confused and jumbled in my thoughts and overloaded as to what I need to do to get ready for it. I need to make lists of what work I will be selling and what I still need to do but I just feel a bit lost.

Its frustrating. I know my work is of a good enough standard but I just struggle with my disordered thoughts to be able to put things together in a cohesive workable way. Feeling quite distressed about it today and like this will be yet another missed out on opportunity as I battle on on my own.

My mind and body continually fail me. It is most frustrating and feels so hopeless. On my own, where I would love to be moving forward and achieveing, I am failing. I just dont hav the cohesiveness of thought I require to be able to belaying out a plan of action and orgainsisng what needs to be done in an achievable way.

House and mind are cluttered and disorganised. Yet no one seems to want to 'hear' that - just telling me I can do it. But I cant. I have repeatedly tried and repeatedly not accomplished being able to think in a clear and ordered manner as to what needs to be done, loet alone do it.

Painting Miniatures

2009-09-03T01:02:00.000-07:00

Have been experimenting in painting 'miniatures' this afternoon in line with about.coms monthly painting projects - surprisingly the shell was just lovely as a surface to work on - I thought it migt behave a little like bone which I found the paint slid off of

- but the shell gripped the paint rather well.

Matchbox Yacht - acrylic on matchbox

The Moon Maker - Acrylic on Shell

Silent Noise - perfuming paper experiment

2009-09-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

Today I spent some time working on 'Silent Noise' - so called because everyone is talking but no one is listening to anyone (and none of the characters in the work have any ears)

The painting is a glorious experiment - the background is on watercolour paper soaked in French Perfume left over from the India trip in 1995 (AMARIGE de GIVENCHY) and coloured in gold and russett acrylic pighment washes - the figures were from a sketch I did the other day, transferred onto the paper with carbon and then overpainted in gouache and ink to finish.

Trying to decide whether to mount it square or rectangular...

Vision and Mission statements: Goal Setting 09

2009-08-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

What do I want: My Goal (Vision)
To be recognised as a NZ artist locally, nationally, internationally

Why do I exist (why do I want to set up business for as an artist? - What is the reason such a business would exist?) (Mission statement)

As an artist I exist to share (not waste or leave unexplored or unopened) the talent and skill loaned to me by God with 1. the local community 2. with my nation and 3. with the world.

This requires only my best work (paintings, photography and other mahi). It demands the best of me, not my 'seconds'.
My work is a vehicle through which I shall find the courage to speak about things that are crying out to be expressed but may I may not have adequate words or clarity of thought or speech to express in such a way as to be understood.
At the very least my mahi will be able to pay for itself. Ideally my mahi is a means to provide sustainable income for myself and others

As an artist I also exist to give something back to this world through my work to the local community, nationally and internationally.

This could come in the form of passing on knowledge (tutoring - paid and green swaps)
community projects such as the arts festivals fundraisers or the like minds like mine projects or setting up website for whaioraarts
artists against slavery fundraising exhibitions for international causes
or other such things.

As an artist I must always enquire of myself when choosing work for exhibition: "Is this my BEST work?"

Up-coming exhibitions and planninf for that

2009-08-28T04:04:00.000-07:00

I sat down with the budget today after recieving forms in the mail for 2 different exhibitons before the end of the year - each requiring a small body of works as part of a larger arts festival - and worked out the costs for each will be about the same once petrol is incorporated.
Budget is pretty tight but if i set aside all the money allowed for emergencies I will be able to cover the initial exhibitng costs so that was a relief - just praying there are no emergencies between now and then!
But the dilemma now is what to select for my body of work - I have several ideas and possibilities - have a month to have the main elements of the work completed so it has enough curing time and then I can work on the other aspects of marketing and presentation but I am so disjointed in my decision making I am struggling to decide on one clear focus. This is also exabbergated by the need at this time to generate sales to be able to afford more materials and opportunities and cover costs. I am an art addict - its as vital to my well being as good nutritious food. I ned to find a constructive way to support this 'habit'. And a focussed direction.
I'd wanted also to enter some art awards but struggled with the form fillling in so once again quite disheartened at my lack of ability that continually penalises me because I find it so hard to get the forms filled in and the work away.

WorkLog

2009-08-28T03:17:00.000-07:00

I've recommitted to painting daily and actively seeking to develope professionally so this week Ive set up the hospitals tilting table in the lounge to work on and have it so the paints are on a table to the right so I'm not doing more damage to my arms in anyway. I'm very short on canvas now and so its hard trying to work on a body of work that I am wanting to do specifically for the two exhibition coming up. Had intended to start reusing old canvases but did not have the heart to paint over something already done so instead ended up touching up the paintings instead - have reworked 'Pororae' as it had some marks on it due to how I'd stored it - it looks great now but does not really fit in with anything.

I'm finding it hard to be clearminded about what I want to work on for exhibition - I really need some work to sell as canvas has gone up so much in the shops - went to buy some yesterday and a $14 canvas is now over $20!

I think my greatest joy this week has been getting permisiion from the neighbours to sit on their lawn and paint their stunning magnolia tree. I've found it great for location work to take the oil paints and a plaette knife - no clean up really - been a bit of an exploration into thick impasto which is kind of strange to do - feels more like putting icing on a cake than doing a painting - worked on the magnolia tree for about an hour and a half.

Its a stunning tree with heavy cream and cerise blossoms atop a silvery-grey trunk. The big winds turned the grass at the foot of the tree into a veritable carpet of deliciously thick petals and i was so pleased I plucked up the courage to ask them if i could come over and paint it as today i notice most of the petals have gone and the tree is just not the same anymore.

I find there is a point in any work where I think 'Oh Lord, what complete rubbish!' but if I press on there comes another point where often it all suddenly falls into place and the painting tells you it's done.

At that point one really NEEDS to stop. Learn to listen to the painting. It will tell you when it's finished - there will be a sense of completeness about the work - then you know it's timeto stop.

about.com

2009-08-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

playing with watercolours in shades of blue....

Finding hope

2009-08-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

mmm - well - in regards to the next post...

Artschool are saying they never received my enrolment forms DESPITE them having been faxed and having a fax receipt from weeks ago

and

WINZ person is saying I am not eligable for tIA DESPITE that in accordance with the website criteria I am still eligable as i started the course and had TIA approval before April 2009...

WHY do people make things so much more difficult than they need to be?????

Arrgh

Feeling very very sad

2009-08-09T05:08:00.000-07:00

Being on invalids benefit, the government were kind enough to fund for the Diploma I am doing at art school but just recently they appear to have moved the goalposts so I am now stranded part way through the diploma (had completed the foundation stage and was about to go onto stage 1). I cannot afford to take on debt so I just feel devistated. I was also really stressed that the admin side of artschool made things so much more difficult for me than they needed to be over the last few months. i struggle with reading and writing and there wss some real unhelpfulness ocuring- if a monthish ago when the meeting was all arranged and she was keen to put the TIA through and all was going ahead the admin side at art school had not been so dogmatic i would now be working on my stage 1 work - but now the goalposts have changed with the funding I've missed out, yet again, on something I really wanted to do. I am so upset.

Artschool gave me a reason for getting up in the morning. It helped me be lifted out of the situation I am in and work on something that was moving forward into a future and expanding my horizons, something other than sickness to occupy my waking thoughts.

I learned new ways of doing things, was exposed to materials I had never heard of, and the years I really needed to do were coming up - all about professional practice and carreer things and I feel so very very sad that this has been made so difficult to be part of when it was such a construtive part of my life.

With my life in so much turmoil and uphealev and so much being uncertain about my future, this was the ONE constant i had to hold onto. The one thing that was just a joy. The one thing that was going to be there to bring purpose and direction.

Now its gone. And I dont know what to do. I cant make this right. i cant make any thing right. It is a lost opportunity and I feel so very sad. One more goal 'not achieved' to add to the many many other 'not achieved's' Yet it did not need to be so. Very sad.

Blood and Water

2009-06-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have been considering the background I did the other day (sunset) for a while now and it seemed to need a dribble of blue running from the top of the work on the far RHS. As I saw this in my mind suddenly i thougth - oh my goodness - it's 'Blood and Water' a crucifixion painting.

I started to sketch in in chalk the line i wanted but realised there needed to be not one but three dribbles of water so ruled them all up so they were at the right intervals and lengths.

I debated whether to use a syringe or not to do the dribbles (as in 'The Memory') but in the end opted for a skinny brush loaded with paint. The thing that hit me after completing the work was not just that it was the Blood and Water of Christ that gushed out as He was peirced in the side post crucifiction, but also that inadvertantly I had painted in the three crosses of Christ and the two criminals (one on either side) where the Blood and Water intersected. I also realised the way I had integrated the silica sand and the overpainting in reds creats like a sense of movement, like blood flowing through a vein

The startling primary colours of the Blood and Water against the background also talks about Christ standing in the space between us and eternal torment.

Really thrilled with the work. Looks quite simplistic i guess with the primary colours against the black but is really quite complex.

The blue in this image is not quite true to colour for some reason - not sure why.

2009-06-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

The BEST thing that the Physio from the Rehab team gave me was ‘permission to paint’ so today, without guilt, I loaded up the basket of my walking frame with oil paint tubes, palette knives, a roll of toilet paper for cleaning up, and a couple of canvases and headed off with my faithful cat to paint the old persimmon tree. The walking frame has a tray on the top which I have discovered today is a perfect height to paint from, and putting the palette on the seat means it is VERY accessable and leaves my arms free so there is not the pain of holding anything.

Opal, the cat, got a bit bored and wandered off for her own explorations, calling out loudly to me at intervals to make sure I hadn’t left without her.

I haven’t used a palette knife very often and I found today the best approach for me was to pick up the paint with it and make lots of little short strokes following a certain direction . BOY it used up a HEAP of paint for a quite small canvas!

I love the finished work, it is so vibrant and full of colour and movement – such a ‘happiness’ painting – and the fruit are so THICK in their application (combined brilliant red, vermillion (I LOVE vermillion) and a nice yellow and plastered it on with broad swirls of pigment.

Came home just as the heavens opened and a huge outpouring of rain occurred over a 5 minute period.

I feel relieved to have had the time out on location painting – it’s very emotionally healing as painting is the only time I am fully present in the moment, fully focussed, especially if out on location. It gives me the only break I get from how hard things are sometimes. It gives me a chance, just for that moment, to feel at ‘one’ with this world, to be alive.

Painting Persimons

2009-06-07T01:58:00.000-07:00

There is a magical place, not far from here where, in an abandoned block of land surrounded by a wired fence and the silvery grey back of an old block building, stands the most glorious Persimmon Tree. The fruit are suspended like ruddy orange orbs between the richly hued leaves resplendent in autumnal tonings of scarlet and green.

Today, as I approached with sketchbook and camera in hand, a flock of silvereyes were feasting, perching precariously on the ruptured flesh of overripe fruits, flitting from branch to branch, fully gorged stomachs hanging in distended bliss. I tried to capture them through my lense but they were too quick for me so contented myself with a small sketch instead.

I must go back, again and again, to recapture all that i have missed. It is a place of such unexpected treasures, a wealth of colour against the drab grey of neglect.

Today I started the painting using tonings of Burnt Seinna, Transparent Red Oxide and (unfortunately) a touch of Permanent Light Green slathered over a longish landscape canvas. Into that I have texturised with plastic then imprinted leaves from the very same Persimmon Tree that I found so unexpectedly delightful. Looking at it now I really LOVE the dried effect - the imprint left by the leaves looks like how leaves fall to the ground in Autumn then gradually skelatilise on the bare earth.. I had intended to overpaint the background but now i think I shall leave it just as it is and instead of a whole tree I shall tomorrow go and gather one fallen fruit and paint just that in the bottom right hand corner of the canvas with perhaps a silvereye perched on the edge, just as I saw them today. I think it will give me much happiness to have such a beautiful memory to look at in the months ahead as winter sets in and i am in bed.

Big changes afoot...

2009-05-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

I've begun work on a new series - Think it will end up being called "Genesis".

I find for me the time just before I am fully awake in the morning is often filled with increased 'seeing' or visions and so yesterday I started work on the two paintings I 'saw 'that morning in the 'inbetween time' as I like to call it when you are not fully asleep yet not quite awake either.

The paintings are actually the same idea, just generated two different ways. I am really pleased with the second work, not so much so with the first as in the 'inbetween time' I saw blackness with a thin red streak entitled 'sunset'. The second painting has really captured what I saw - in the first the line is too wide and regular and did not have the same sense of conveyence.

I am finding the state of finances really tough atm. Like i was unhappy with the first painting and it quite upset me thinking of the unrecoverable financial outlay that I had just 'wasted' a canvas and paint and couldn't afford to pop down town to get more as there was no more money to do so and i have already this week taken a big chunk out of grocery money in order to buy canvas and paint. I had the painting up on the wall reviewing it's merits (or lack there-of...) and within a few unguarded seconds found myself thinking 'whats the point?' Lack of funds is so unhelpful and so discouraging. I wish there were some form of scholarship or something or way to fund explorations for a decent year or so to get together something really decent to show and exhibit. A free year in which to explore the strengths and direction my work is going to head in and begin buiding a professional portfolio or body of work.

i also need to work out how I am signing my work and whether to use a pseudenom or not - esp being online. The two paintings today remain unsigned at present.

Cut my hair in the weekend. Went to cut it all off but stopped before that happened. Actually looks OK surprisingly. Rather pretty. A nice bob.

i am so on edge as have not been able to sleep for days now.

Local Scenery

2009-05-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

Photos from the other day out at the beach...the reflections on the wet sand were amazing. It was bitterly cold though as the wind swept right along the beach.

I have been a bit 'precious' about posting photos that I intend to use myself due to the internet piracy issues but working on that at the moment and this was too lovely a day not to share it... yet today we have lightnening and thunder and hail...

Last photo - very a-typical housing endemic to the area

2009-05-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

sketching on Location is always wonderfully absorbing...not always GREAT PAINTINGS emerge - but the ideas they generate and the joy of being there is wonderful

I think it is because you are totally 'in-the-moment- , there is no sense of past and only anticipation of the future, all there really is is the 'now' - it is a mostly very 'still' place to be.

I have had a brainwave. Am beginning now to assemble my home ready for my 2nd inhouse exhibition in July and was not sure how to best go about it but this morning I have recalled I have photos of one other time when the house was assembled like an art gallery so I think i shall have a good look at them, escepially how the end room was assembled as my last year and before work will be in there and can set it up similar. Then i can use the studio for the new work using the limited colour palette and the rest of the house for photography, 3D and new work other than the limited colour palette work.

On the way out to the beach the other day I was speaking with a shop owner and there is a possibility of comission work, they want a painting done of their batch and i need $ for registering the car so i can continue to have the use of it so I need to get in touch with them and formalise things if they do want to go ahead. I just think that would be a great sloution for both of us. A young man I know also would like to do a 'green swap' - getting my car up to warrentable standard in terms of fixing things relating to the stereo system that prevons owners illegally installed in the car in exchange for my speakers in the back of the car. He's a very reliable young man so hoping he knows what he's doing.

weekend work

2009-05-04T03:14:00.000-07:00

"Warning - unstable area - please keep off"

had to laugh at irony of a sign which is toppling over the
area it is marking is so unstable a reflection on my own life also - painted in Gouache on card on location.

No creativity for me today after a bit of time on location yesterday braving the bitter wind and sunshine to familiarise myself a little more with Gouache as a medium by going out and doing some small sketches at the beach.

It seems to dry very powdery and is hard to apply unless it is well wetted down (although for the waves in 'Kite Surfer' I applied it directly from the tube for the surf and it has dried almost like a semi impasto feel.)

)This one was sketched for a friends sons birthday - his secret swimming spot - adding gold ink highlights when back in the studio seemed the right thing to do.

Think it demands a bit more exploration.

Seems to be more effective when used in controlled conditions like the studio (see the Cat under the Grapefruit tree).

Currently I am having to buy art supplies on chit - a local retailer allows me to book things up and I just have to pay them back each month. Did a work out the other day and realised I am spending between $90- $100 per month for supplies, even with a discount. {No wonder food has been so lacking...) Apart from one purchase which I have not used they have all been exceptionally useful and necessary.

ARt is my ONE indulgence that does not centre around my health or hospital meetings or surgeons or rehab or physio or ADLs. Art does not care if I can't walk or am in pain or hungry. Creativity is not stomped out by the endless regime of analgesics and opiates and other medication. It doesn't care if there is no money in the bank or if the money is overflowing. Art will always find a way to make it's presence felt.

there are some things going on in my life that MAYBE I will explore on this blog, or not. Have not decided yet. But there is a new 'facet' going onto who I am and what I am about.
Think that is part and parcel of being an 'artist at work' - things change, you grow, things move on

red yarn

2009-04-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I have set aside for art and creativity BUT today I was SOOOOO unmotivated and struggling...

Worked on an artschool exercise (quick sketches of figure drawing) and by the time had finished thought 'wow that would look GREAT as a design on one of my old storage boxes' (a recycled supermarket wine box ) so while the inspiration was there painted up some cards and part way through painting up the storage box in the same design.

Initially it was just a sketch of four different figures but had wanted to link them together somehow so hence adding the red 'yarn'.

The background of the card is painted in Resenes 'Lima' and the figures and yarn were done in bed using gouache. Box is also in Lima for the base, have not done the figures on it yet

New Zealand Inanga (native Whitebait)

2009-04-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

My Photograph of a New Zealand Freshwater Whitebait – Inanga is the Maori name for them – This one is a mature adult about 3 and a bit years old.
These freshwater fish are found in one of the local lakes and thrive in captivity on mosquito larvae and good quality goldfish flakes, however you have to be very careful to keep the water 100% contaminant free as they are very sensitive to pollutants of any kind.
They are surface feeders and have tiny spry that seem to be all eyes and no bodies. Not sure if they are egg or live layers.
They do best in a tank with fine fine gravel or sand as anything else traps the fry and the do not survive.
The fish change colour depending on their environment. At the lake i collected them from they were quite transparent to a creamy white, changing colour to adapt to whatever I used in the tank.
An easy, practical fun fish to rear. Photographed April 2009

*****************************************************
The painting that stemmed from the subject in question...not sure which way up to put it nor whether to call it :Three Well Dressed Gentlemen" or : Tap Dancing Fish" - for a larger version either look at the next post (scroll down a bit) or click on the images.

painting native whitebait and the truth about rain...

2009-04-25T23:57:00.000-07:00

An Aspect of Rain

I noticed an odd thing today as I lay in bed looking out the window once again at the rain.
Against the sky the rain was invisible, but against the darkness of the triangular shaped pine the rain was clearly visible.
It made me think - just because you can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it is not there or doesn’t exist.
Like God, sometimes when things are ‘grey’ we just can’t see Him or feel Him or hear Him, but that does not mean He isn’t there.
And when I see things that are different that what others see, does that make me crazy or ‘wrong’ or ‘weird’, or is it just my brain looking at things in a different light than someone else might?

2. The Painting of the Native Fish...
It is odd how paintings evolve sometimes.
Today I noticed one of my freshwater native whitebait (Inanga) was in the last stages of life (3 ish years old), so fished it out of the tank for some photographs. They have gills covers the colors of an irridescant paua. Decided to take the opportunity to paint it also. Wanted some form of balance and also to use the new color palette so painted a fish in each third of the canvas (they have a lovely diamond scale patterning). It was rather cartoony and noticed the bottom fish was looking rather anxious. Suddenly thought if I turned the painting on the side and gave each fish a top hat it would end up being quite a stylish and humorous work—the white bellies making them look like they are wearing tuxes. As it has evolved the fish have a rather guilty air about them, as though they have been evicted from a club or something or are sneaking off somewhere to do something a bit naughty and are scared of getting caught...
In the first image you can see the actual fish in the bottom left corner...before the top hats were added...
.

painting painting painting painting

2009-04-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

Have been working hard this week - last weekend completed 'Arohanui' - just need to do the sides - in the above pic you can see the initial sketch done in June 2008 - all very mathematical using thirds and circles and triangles and horizontal and vertical lines to get the layout just how I needed it to be...

I have also started working on a recipie book... see below for the title page in acrylics (have removed last name for internet purposes - so not really a big white rectangle in the top of the painting...

and a paint effect tukutuku panel box, just because I could and because I was learning how to do it so thought i'd start on something that didn't matter if it was not 'quite right'

And begun working on a painting called 'waiting for the Harvest'...(the one with the cabbage)

Over the week have done a few bits and pieces - caught a nice sunrise from my bed the other morning - reminded me of the ripples on a David Hockney pool...

Bought some 'gauche' the other day and used it to illustrate a page of the new recipie book - interesting to watch it dry as it is so Matt in a[ppearence and gives a lovely flat coverage, on the black pages of the reci[pie book it looked like cheap tempera paint so not that great. On white paper however the effect is quite different.

And today I've been trying to capture a vision I had this morning of an unusual object called a Tajine - using a limited colour palette of Paynes grey, gold and titanium, - drawn in a very styalised style and added a 'foot' for it to stand on

Have since GOOGLED taghine (how I thought it might be spelled) and found they actually do exist and are moroccan cooking vessels! Spelled tajine.

silvereye photograph

2009-04-05T04:01:00.003-07:00

Today I was blessed to have an instant of a stationary silver eye in the guava tree that I snuck up on and took a shot of.

One chance - and thankfully the camera behaved and took the shot.

Eight Bells

2009-04-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

Last year a captain of a fishing boat was kind enough to give me a couple of snapper so I have finally finished a sketch for him of his vessel. Needs to be 'fixed' then can post it off on Monday.

I love the idea of 'fair exchange'

Will send him the one on the left and work on the other one another day or perhaps leave it as is - not yet decided...

I am SO behind in my work - lately there has been so much stress in my life and so much pressure from all angles it has been really hard to get into a frame of mind to create - my mind is so overloaded with other things.
And the time I have being 'up' each day (out of bed) has been used up with other things.
I just have to set aside time now to work and try and not let all the other pressures andcommittments and deadlines intrude, otherwise it will add more stress and pressure to an already difficult situation.

SO today I have set my timer and just worked. When the timer went off I did a little bit more and put the phone back on the hook then have had to stop for the day. Feeling really ill at them moment so it's back to bed for the afternoon - hopeing tonight I have some more 'together' time so can start work on the next thing that needs to be done.

EARTH HOUR HAS BEGUN

2009-03-28T01:06:00.002-07:00

Well it is 9.10pm here in New Zealand and my lights are out and candles glimmering very pleasently as I do my bit for the planet.

As always we're the first in the world so wonder how many others will follow.

2009-03-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

today has been an 'in bed' day again apart from a breif period of being up early this afternoon to see someone off who called in.

I am SO greatful for the rehab table over the bed as this evening I was able to be lying down working on some things whilst watching an artschool video.

It continues to make such a difference in my life.

Tomorrow hopefully i will hear from artschool what hours i have remaining to do in each subject area so I can select what to focus in on in particular - i am so full of ideas and things to do that this is really vital otherwise I will end up not completing my hours in one area because i have spent my all time in another.

If I don't hear i am going to paint up some backgrounds ready for drawings I need to get done for various people - some are WAY overdue - like the drawing of a fishing boat that the captain gave me two large snapper for last year - I must get onto that and send it off to him - very much into an equal exchange process where you and the other person swap things of an equal value and worth.

I am also very inspired by some of the visual ideas generated min my head when listening to various sermons in cHurch - one in particular really needs to be done as an oil painting - but am wondering - should I finish all my unfinished work first before starting something new - have several things waiting for completion at the moment.

Tomorrow I have NO meetings and only one committment later on in the afternoon so hoping for a decent block of working time. I lOVE Tuesdays!

quoting Steph

2009-03-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

"I occasionally dip a toe into the inviting waters of spontaneity but regret it pretty quickly"

Steph. March 11, 2009
Beautiful piece of writing Steph - well done. {Grin}
And Tim - {waves} an official HI!

Recycling Damask and Sketching snappers

2009-03-08T00:57:00.000-08:00

Was given a snapper this morning so FINALLY took the plunge and made an apron from an old damask table cloth that should have been in the rag bag years ago and used indian ink to sketch the snapper onto it in several different positions.

An acheivement 1. Because it is the first time i have done any sewing (I swapped a painting for a machine a while back now and first time I have used it) and 2. because I've wanted to work on facric for a long time but have held off because I did not want to risk ruining something by using the wrong materials.

I trialled on a waste peice before starting to use the indian ink on the apron peice. Really thrilled with the result - it looks like professionally printed fabric - not like a first time one off piece.

I'd love to explore this idea more - it seems most practical to have 'functional' one off art works.

Bathsheba's Bath (the sin of a King)

2009-03-06T00:59:00.000-08:00

2 Samuel 11

Bathsheba's Bath - the sin of a King

(chalk pastel on cartridge)

David and Bathsheba

1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah.

But David remained in Jerusalem.

2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.

From the roof he saw a woman bathing.

The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"

4 Then David sent messengers to get her. {My notes - He was the King - she had to obey him - to not do so would have meant death}

She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then she went back home.

5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant."

6 So David sent this word to Joab: "Send me Uriah the Hittite." And Joab sent him to David.

When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going.

8 Then David said to Uriah, "Go down to your house and wash your feet." So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him.

But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master's servants and did not go down to his house. {My notes - David was trying to get him to sleep with his wife so they could say the baby was his - it had been conceived while he was away at war and if he didn't have intercourse with his wife he would know it was someone elses. David's sin would remain hidden if he thought he was the father}

When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?"
Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields.
How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!" {My notes: this was an honourable man}

Then David said to him, "Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back." So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next.

At David's invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk.

But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master's servants; he did not go home.

In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die." {My notes - what a JERK!}

So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David's army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.

Joab sent David a full account of the battle.

He instructed the messenger: "When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, the king's anger may flare up, and he may ask you, 'Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didn't you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? Who killed Abimelech son of Jerub-Besheth ? Didn't a woman throw an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died in Thebez? Why did you get so close to the wall?' If he asks you this, then say to him, 'Also, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.' "

The messenger set out, and when he arrived he told David everything Joab had sent him to say. The messenger said to David, "The men overpowered us and came out against us in the open, but we drove them back to the entrance to the city gate. Then the archers shot arrows at your servants from the wall, and some of the king's men died. Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead."

25 David told the messenger, "Say this to Joab: 'Don't let this upset you; the sword devours one as well as another. Press the attack against the city and destroy it.' Say this to encourage Joab."
26 When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him.

27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son.

But the thing David had done displeased the LORD.

Wanting to buy a ferry, a home, and a future Wishing I had the finances.

2009-03-06T00:20:00.000-08:00

Frustrated at lack of funds when something as ideal as this would be comes along and you realise you have not been able to buy toothpaste this week let alone buy a ferry no matter how ideal it would be.

When I saw it I knew how ideal it would be and I felt quite deeply the gulf betweeen wanting somthing and not having the means to obtain it.

It's the kind of thing I would make come alive, and would be deeply appreciated and cared for,
It would give me a future and a hope. It would give me a means to be able to financially support myself whilst still following the call God has on my life.

Oh - I just looked it up on trade me and found it is operating as a restaurant so it MUST have a certified kitchen. I really really really want this! It's just so ME. It would give me a very 'me' home and a gallery and a teaching space and a legal kitchen for producing food for sale for a gallerycaf and a means of supporting myself all in one as well as a teaching space.

One of the times I wish I had a financial supporter who could turn to me right now and say ; yes , I'll to buy that for you and here's the land to put it on - let me organise it all for you...
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Boats-marine/Yachts-sail-boats/Moored-boats/auction-204350890.htm

less than a day before the auction closes.

Todays work

2009-02-28T21:57:00.001-08:00

I have been doing some drawing work for artschool today using chalk pastels mostly.

I thought each layer would cover up the layer underneath it but as it turns out as soon as you 'fix' them with the spray fixative the underneath layer comes through again - this would be great except that my background for the figure drawing has horizontal red stripes on it (I was using the colours of a Royal Gala apple to create an abstracted background on which to work). So the figures are transparent to a certain extent and the background shows through.

Been trialling the new bed easel and it is FABULOUS! Today I have moved it out so I can lie on the couch in the lounge and work as it's easier to get a good position to work from and the couch is now on wooden blocks so the easel slides right underneath it. Marvelous piece of equipment and SUCH a Godsend. It is SO nice to be able to draw again!

Last evening I went out and took some compositional shots in the cemetery - particularly nice clouds and I found my moving around to different heights and positions you could come up with some very pleasing silhouetted shots. (I was lying down at the time when I discovered by moving slightly the composition changed drastically) These are in the old cemetery - the grave stones were the only thing to remain after fire destroyed everything a few years ago - well before my time. There is a great shot of the angel outlined against the flames that someone took at the time.

ME/CFIDS link

2009-02-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

Ive just been reading a friends blog - and he had this link on his site to information on CFIDS/M.E. It's quite comprehensive and explains things far better than I could so I've copied the link to add here in case people want to know about it.

http://www.mecfs.org.au/?q=node/43

another good site for an explanation is

http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/about-chronic-fatigue-syndrome

This is a good site for some helpful keys to deal with coping and on how to live well with long-term illness such as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. can be aplied to other situations also like cancer or sim things. Much of it is practical and constructive.

http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/ten-keys-successful-coping-2005

a quote from a freind of mine in Aus (hope she doesn't mind)

2009-02-24T03:44:00.000-08:00

We just need to climb mountains one step at a time, rather than all in one go.

reminds me of the Chinese proverb...

The Journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step...

rehab team equipment - KA PAI! KIAORA!

2009-02-23T03:53:00.000-08:00

today the rehab OT came with some equipment to help around the house - a tilting under the bed table and a kitchen trolley, all good quality enduring materials and on caastors. I am delighted as suddenly a whole rhelm of possibilities has opened up for me. It's been hard the times in bed - being upright is often so draining but now I have a means to be able to continue to work and plan whilst being mostly horizontal and I'm so thrilled. it gives me possibility and hope back instead of hopelessness and frustration.

The table can tilt to almost vertical as well as lie flat - so going to be a useful piece fo equipment whether in bed or not. Very excited about it and the possibilities it opens up both for self and being able to teach. It also means i will be able to have meetings lying down so I can cognitively function far better Nd still eb able to take notes or explain things using a paper shee on the table of I ened to. Yahoo. PTL

Mask making - finding inspiration at 11.40pm

2009-02-19T02:39:00.000-08:00

For artschool, as already mentioned, I've just done a plaster bandage mould of my face and a plaster of paris cast from that mould to use as a base for making a mask.

And there it sits.

For I really struggled for what to put on it - do i turn it into an animal? Do I make a venetian Carnivale Mask? No matter what I thought it just did not want to get made.

Then I had a change of tack and looked at what a mask actually was - its purpose it to hide, to protect, to conceal something underneath, to alter ones perception to the illusion that the person underneath has become entirely something or someone else.

That kind of got me thinking about materials to use to convey that - now please understand it is started to get very complicated at this point.

So - brilliant - suddenly this morning there is clarity - I will design a mask that demonstrates a part of the Character of God. Suddenly i am back on track. Ive ben thinking about this all day and just now sittinglooking at the otherthings I have been working on this week there is lots of light in them, Lots of diffused as well as reflected light. My work is a vessel of light if you will.

So I said to the Lord just now, Father, You are light - HOW on earth do I portray this characteristic of You within the mounds of a papier mache mask.

Jesus said "I am the Light of the World'

So my mask shall become the world, with a single source of light eminating to it from above, through it and exploding from it in a thousand different ways through eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hair folicles.. as believers, we are His light in a world that has very much in these times become lost in darknes and needs the light in us to shine strongly to show people the way 'home'.

Now I know what this mask is desiring to become, and I wll have my world Map I have been looking for, and am keen to start and move onto the next phase. hALLELYUJAH

09.02.14 Silver Lake dreaming

2009-02-18T02:01:00.000-08:00

I woke this morning at 7 am with a single image in my head.
I was standing by the shores of a silvery lake (light reflected), overgrown and mostely hidden by a wild array of thick tangled rampant watergrasses. I wasn't right in the clear water but in the damp reedbed overrun at the edge. And I saw myself as though from a distance - a young girl standing amongst the reeds of this barely visable lake. I wasn't doing anything, just standing there, breathing, looking at the lake.

3D work - mask making - and playing with 'paint'

2009-02-12T19:17:00.000-08:00

For artschool Ive trotted over to the neighbours recently and we set her dining room up like an operating theatre so she could make a plaster cast of my face (a negative using loads of vaseline and plaster bandages) It was quite pleasent lying there with funky music playing in the background and the hum of voices around me - a little like disassociating i guess - you are aware of where you are but not part of it or able to communicate.

The girls made me laugh just as the bandages were going over my mouth so not only did a little plaster run into my mouth but the cast has set in a nice slight smile which is very pleasing.

Stage two was to make a plaster of paris mixture which was then poured into the mould (once again well vasalined) - I played with it a little too long - did not know it set quite so quickly! SO as I was pourng it in it was already setting so I will need to do another one sometime, however this one will be fine as a base for building up a mask mould with clay before papermache going over the top.

I am finding the process very new and interesting. Sculptural work has many different stages in it's development I am coming to realise - and each one needs to be well done in order for the next to work and therefore a good final product at the end.

A bit like life really!

I've also joined up with a community of Christian Artists' which I will post about at a later stage but it's a timely move for me I think.

Oh - I was given a crayfish yesterday - have cleaned out the shell and thought it would make an interesting vessel - maybe for a coin purse - not sure how exactly to clean it out properly so there is no lingering odour so have set it aside in the meantime on the kitchen bench for the ants to hoe into. hopefully they will do a great cleaning job and solve the problem for me! It is too interesting a thing to just throw away - one cannot help but be in awe of God when you observe the diversity of His creation.

Sketchbook Exercises for January

2009-01-19T01:21:00.000-08:00

Today has been a GOOD working day with a break in the middle where I slept like a log for several hours which was WONDERFUL. (I am the woman who doesn't sleep)

I was given a gift voucher a while back now used it to purchase some chalk pastel pencils - LOVELY to work with as you can do all the normal blends but also fine delicate traceries so I am really thrilled with them.

I had not heard of them until a couple of weeks ago and was not sure our little place would even have them but all credit to them for the array of unusual and varied things they stock in terms of art supplies!

I've been really ill of late so rang and they had them ready at the counter for me so I did not have the added 'ugh' of having to find them as were not sure what they looked like.

It means now I can do drawing when I have to be in bed or lying down as they are nice colours but don't have the same dust as the normal stick pastels. So I am THRILLED.

I've been doing some exercises in my sketchbook to get a 'feel' for the new materials - did my first full colour drawn self portrait (took quite some time) - makes me realise how the chronic fatigue syndrome has taken it's toll of late - eyes are exremely weary. The hyperthyroidism makes them wider so the pupils and iris appear staring although they are not - just my eye are open wider so look bigger. Found some lovely strands of silver in my hair too as I was studying my face. So thrilled.

Have spent a few hours today also revamping my business cards as my mobile phone 'died' and the information was outdated. Have used a beautiful photograph of a nautaulis I took last year, all back lit with natural sunlight for a softer effect. Looks very ince on the draft of the cards. Am designing a co-ordinated package of marketing tools so will be interesting to see what they turn out like.

I have plans now for an exhibition at home in July again so thinking through the advertising and invitation designs now also and also the theme for the main body of work which will be in the studio. I loved a couple of years ago having my first 'in house' exhibition where the entire house was set up as a functioning gallery/exhibition and work space apart from the room where we sleep (I was going to use that also but it was too much visual stimulation and not indicative of rest so canned the idea)

My biggest hurdle at the moment is trying to establish some sort of working routine for art school projects. A long drive out to the GP the other day has put a big unexpected spanner in the works and as set me back quite a way in terms of managing to stand or sit for more than a few moments at a time before I am feeling like I will black out from the pain and that pain is in itself so draining - so it's quite an interruption the creative process. Have been contenting myself with bursts of very intersive work followed by lying down and igniting the creative juices by going over and over the dvd notes.

How wonderful it would to not have this M.E . To be well would be such a gift that one could do so much with.

Clay sculpting and sketches Jan 09

2009-01-17T02:45:00.000-08:00

'On Growing Up' - #1/3

Have been doing a fair bit of sketching of late

Today however decided to try my hand at clay sculpting with quite interesting results...

The clay was far softer than I thought it was going to be (having not really worked with it before I thought it would be quite leathery and firm but it was like sculpting with soft butter to a certain extent.)

I've done 4 peices -

The first titled 'knowledge' talks about how as human beings we are always learning, somtimes that learning comes at pivotal points or steps in our lives, other times it seems interwoven in the very fabric of our existence. There are 'ah - ha' moments, like stepping stones in our path, but always we strive higher, to learn more, to understand more, to be more enligtened (hence the arrow pointing upwards at the pinnacle of the peice)

The other three are a series that started out to be about 'greif' but as I had the urge to drive nails through the sides of them (3 in each representing childhood, youth and adulthood) the work became about 'growing up' and the pain there is in that process but how if we walk on above that pain to the next stage at the final stage of our life we truely begin to blossom, I've done three in differing heights and widths and wondering why this was I asked myself about it when they were completed and i realised it was about that not everyones life spans are the same, some people have a short life span (though no less valid or of worth) whereas others live longer and therefore have more lifeline and perhaps differing points of pain in their lives.

Inspite of pain, inspite of wounding, all of us have the potential within us to stand uprightly and blossom. It is our time to bloom and no longer to be hidden within ourselves or advised on how to be by the pain we went through at differing times in our lives.

3D work using fibre and shell

2008-12-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

I did these the other day - an idea I had been playing with - some of which were sent to my parents for their Christmas Gifts - made with shredded flax and shells from one of the local beaches...

I am VERY much into natural products, things that preserve - and don't harm our environment in their creating or their disposal, and that influence is becoming more and more important to me the older I get so I love the idea of creating an artwork like these using 100% natural and biodegradable things to work with that will benefit the ground when they eventually return to it.

Currently i have several palm tree spathes soaking in the bath also - the word is getting out that I am making lovely containers with them and the other afternoon I woke to find some Kind Person had dropped some off on the porch ready for me to use (thanks).
You soak them to soften the wood so it becomes flexible and also so you can pierce holes in it more easily. The water laden wood seems to 'fold around' whatever you are piercing it with rather than splitting lengthways so you get a smooth hole, not a tear, in the wood.

Thankfully this person had also copped off the fronds for me which makes them much easier to work with - this one in the bath is not pre chopped and was very hard to remove the main frond stem.

hooray - sold one of the Kete

2008-12-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

Just received a wee cheque from the Wellington exhibition with a lovely letter to say 'wild and wooly' sold at exhibition

Here's the link to the post where I talk about making it and the symbolism.
http://the-art-of-hope.blogspot.com/2008/11/portfolio-and-exhibition-work-off-today.html

I am SO thrilled, had a grin from ear to ear when I got the mail! Not sure what happened to the other Kete I sent down - no doubt I will find out soon.

Between that and the exhibition up here I was able to put quite a bit away into the fundraising account for my trip away next year. It is great to see the $ creeping up and knowing I am getting closer to my goal. Quite a way to go yet but am getting there.

Gosh, it's so encouraging!

Artistic Pet Project for Artschool fun

2008-12-14T03:07:00.000-08:00

My mentor set a project to do some artistic shots of our pets so here goes...

Hedgewick, the baby Hedgepig

Opal the Cat

I have a 'part time cat', Harry, who visits when he feels like biscuits. He bought me this charming Goldfinch not so long back.

Just finished the art and craft show - Dec 08

2008-12-05T23:20:00.000-08:00

I am feeling very encouraged at the moment – 2 of the postcard-sized life drawings I did the other day sold at exhibition this morning – Indian ink and oil pastel. So that was encouraging –I loved them but did not know if anyone else would. Also sold a lot of cards of my work that I had produced last year and some names down to do some weekend workshops with me in 2009.
Heaps of feedback also on a container I made this week from a palm spathe, flax and paua – really thrilled with it myself – it did not sell at exhibition BUT one of the people coming through loved it and took a photo to send to her sister who runs a gallery in Kerikeri as she might be interested in exhibiting my work so that was good. If nothing comes of it – I have lost nothing – but perhaps something WILL come of it and then I will have gained.
I would have loved to have sold some of the bigger works – but not to be this time around – although have an offer on one that I did not take down to the exhibition that I think I will accept.
The car is full of stuff from the exhibition so that will be a big job in the morning to unpack and put everything away. I've had to call it quits tonight but I’ve treated myself to some blue cheese with pesto on crackers and also frozen yoghurt to end the week in a nice way. Very tired but very content.

Oh – a wonderful thing occurred – i had fresh flowers from the garden just to add to the 'look' of my space each day – and the woman doing the catering loved them so much that I was able to swap her a fresh bunch of flowers for lunch yesterday and today. What a good system! Today she went home with a HUGE bunch of lime green and scarlet alstromeria so she was thrilled.

Portfolio and exhibition work off today Yahoo

2008-11-26T23:31:00.001-08:00

Above is the really beautiful spider that was on the flax as we were weaving on Friday! Apparently an Ausi import!
Have sent in my final lot of work for the year to artschool and also packedged up the 2 Kete I have made in the last couple of weeks to go to exhibition and hopefully sell.
The trickiest thing was to pack them so they didn't get crushed -
Filled 'Feels Like Home' with a shopping bag full of shells and sand from a nearby beach to help it hold it's shape.
'Wild and Woolly' I made last week using Natural fibres, sheep wool from a friends farm fence and polished discs of bone and packed that with what was left of the wool so hoping that works. I had to wrap the long ends of shredded flax carefully so they did not bend and loose their shape.
Thankfully everything fitted nicely in my art portfolio so did not have extra courier fees.

It took two hours yesterday to tie off the bone disc handle on 'Wild and Woolly' so it was just right!

There are also 12 bone discs threaded into the rim for the twelve tribes of Israel, the shredded flax forms a huge mane around the Kete (Jesus referred to as the Lion of the tribe of Judah) and sheep wool also talking about His being known as the sacrificial Lamb of God, covering and paying for our sins.

I have also started working on some decoupage pieces in the last few weeks. At the moment working on an old suitcase and my hakere fridge (good inside but not so great outside). - very time consuming but quite absorbing. Enjoying the challenge of something new.

Traditional Maori Flax Basket (Kete)

2008-11-18T00:15:00.000-08:00

Last week I called into a friends for a coffee and she had a pile of beautiful baskets she had just finished weaving so in passing i asked if she could teach me, next minute she had a pair of cutting tools in her hand and off down the garden we went where she cut long leaves of flax and showed me how to strip and soften them and then we both worked side by side on a basket each so she could show me what to do. I made a pipi-picking kete a while ago but didn't really know what I was doing (and Tangaroa ended up being gifted with it after a big wave slapped me from behind whilst I was bent over gathering Pipis (Grin)).

I am thrilled with mine - after we had woven down the top edges I was concerned that they might unravel as the Kete dried and I had the inspiration to shred the flax and then knot the different strands together right around the rim. I've also threaded some slipper shells on some strands from one of the local beaches. It's drying a lovely golden yellow almost so very pleased. On Friday we are meeting again to weave together - I have already made some grass handles for the next Kete so can't wait to try them and see if they work.

Have called the work "Feels Like Home"

Illustrators workshop end of day two pics

2008-10-03T03:04:00.000-07:00

I worked on four paintings over the two days of the illustrators workshop
Revamped the native Parrot Fish painting (of the pororae) in acrylic by adding some koru designs and repainting the background. Did some more work on 'Arohanui' also.

The two new paintings were the Paua with Koru design in green tones (acrylic on canvas) and 'HineMoana with the net of the faeries' (actually started as a self portrait) in acrylic, wood glue and beach sand.

Illustrators Workshop - Sept 08

2008-09-29T00:58:00.000-07:00

Today I have been out on an Illustrators workshop with Theresa Reihana. She spoke with me about the symbolism for womanhood, nurturing which is like a seed pod with seeds inside being protected and nurtured and she also showed me how to do the patterned spaces using repeating koru themes. Spent the day working between several paintings – one she drew the koru patterns on then I darkened the inbetween spaces leaving the koru in the original colours.

Doing koru is quite therapeutic – so curved and flowing and smooth.

Came home and used the TLC drawing exercises to start work on a self portrait – going to ‘sand’ it in the morning at the course to texturise some parts (you use wood glue and shake sand over the top.

Hi Build, Garden Signs, More Organised Painting Space and Cat Characture Cards

2008-09-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

Below are some cat characature cards in INdia Ink and oil pastels iwas using as a warm up the other day

I thought i would be rather clever today and incorporate the art school exercises into making some garden signs for the vegetable patch - however it didn't quite gel! I did do a few signs though for the various potatoes that have sprouted in the cupboard and need to be planted (Agria and Rua) and for the Kumara I am having a go at sprouting ready to plant in a month or so (Golden and Beauregard).

Anyway - here's some of the work from this week. I had my first experimental session with some 'Hi Build' that came with the art school starter pack. I think it may prove quite useful if I can get a handle on how to make the most of it.

I have discovered that if i lay the paint out neatly according to colour and depth of colour that I am able to work far better. I guess because i can immediately lay my hand on the colour needed rather than having to scrounge around trying to find it amidst all the other paints and paraphernalia.

art societies and goal setting analogues and overwhelming sadness

2008-09-20T04:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday dropped in some work (including the Maori Madonna and some of the new art school work) to the Northland Art Society and used the opportunity to have a look at what work was on exhibition there and the prices. I have some ready to send to gallery who have asked if I could sell my work through them in Matanaka - just out of Auckland so Need to do a write up or artists statement for them. Just waiting for the address to arrive so can get it underway.
Today I had intended to do a full days work but worked in frustration for three hours on an analogue that still has not come together just right so will re work it again tomorrow. It is supposed to depict how I feel about my present and how i would like to feel about my future. But since Thursday I have been struggling with feelings relating to a sudden and significant loss in my life and the uncaring way I was told about it and the huge implications for my immediate situations and future and I have been unable to break away from the trauma response I am having to that. Even in todays work it came through. Feeling sad and scared and cluttered and all messed up and angry and full of mistrust with the people who should have been there to ease the news and check up to see if i was OK. Will load the pics of todays work when batteies have charged

Sundays work - colour theory and papaya painting

2008-09-13T22:22:00.001-07:00

At the moment I am watching a movie on Andy Warhol - very interesting

Started today by working on completing my colour analogues - this time using short music fragments. In my initial planning I had looked at the idea almost of a church window shape so that's how it was all divided up. I will add it onto my emotion swatches from the other day when I am able to buy some backing support and adhesive.

Have been working through some colour exercises today that have resulted in a nice acrylic of a papaya using complimentary colours (the seeds also have blue added to the brown to contrast with the vermillion flesh and the background is essentially blue blended with the initial yellow blocking in colour which has resulted in a deep rich green-grey almost)

The inspiration for the work came from an advertising pic in a magazine that really appealed to me because of the shocking colour contrasting with the black seeds. I had chopped it out a month or so ago and put it in my visual diary on pattern.

Compared to my other work this piece seems full of energy and light

Tin Foil Masks - Saturdays Creativity

2008-09-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today I discovered that the courier sometime last week had been and left my art portfolio sitting in behind stuff on the porch which was a bit frustrating and VERY lucky it had not gotton wet. So have had nice time looking at the feedback dvd and browsing through a book that was sent and in a moment of energy ripped off a piece of aluminium foil from the kitchen and made an imprint of my face which turned out really great and is now pinned over the stove. Looking at different online Galleries to sell my work from at the moment. Have found one a friend uses that will market also Tee shirts of your work which really appeals to me - so going to hopefully have some 'get up and go' this evening and sort through my work and see what is suitable. I also have to choose work to send to the gallery in Auckland and some for an indoor market that an acquaintance has offered to hang some work and sell some cards for me (I will give her a commission). interesting to look at the different online galleries as you get a feel for what other work is out there and how yours compares quality wise so a good experience for me and inspiring me to have quality work out there.

Colour Theory - The Colour of Emotion

2008-09-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

Today the first hour was spent planning and thinking about what i needed for the lesson on Colour theory - so at the end of the hour i was SOOOO BIG and complicated in my ideas that I had to get out of the house for a while and refocus a bit. Paid off the art supplies bill to date which was a big burden out of the was and enabled me to book up another couple of items that I needed. With the CFIDS I find loud beaty music tends to overload the senses and causes stress and every place I went into had loud beaty music playing so by the time I came home I was totally wiped out and dysfunctional (not the right word).
I was so glad I had my notes from the morning to refer to as when I got cracking and began working on the emotion analog colour 'swatches' I just referred back to my morning notes and worked from them rather than rethinking everything.

I find clutter quite stressful and by the end of the day the table was so cluttered with paints and glitters and notes and pallets and brushes and and and.....

Poor Opal was so tired of waiting for me to finish (I had to keep going or loose the wetness and blending of the acrylic) that she took herself to bed before I had the chance to feed her!

The analogues are on one sheet of paper divided into four parts (fear-suspense, happiness, hatred and love/romance) I wanted to do the 'swatches' in stripes of colour after reading and looking at the work of an artist who did landscapes by painting strips of the colours that had impressed him about the landscape. So I wanted to play with the idea of doing strips of colour that reminded me of the emotion.

Work Thursday, Saturday and Today

2008-09-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy day today - starting out with scrubbing out some soup bones and hanging them on the line to dry (wet bone smells a bit weird) as I thought they might make interesteing painting surfaces for hand made chunky pendants.

I will write up the rest tomorrow. Have run out of steam!

Self Portrait and beating the chalk dust

2008-09-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

A friend suggested I tie something round my face to stop the chalk dust reacting with the sinus all the time so today I armed myself with a long sleeved tee shirt and did just that. The exercise for today was to do a self portrait using a random Indian ink background so set up the big mirror on one of my high easels and sketched myself all togged up and ready to go using the Rembrandt chalk pastels and a touch of white oil pastel for the eye highlights. I LOVE the way the Indian ink shows through the chalk and adds an atmosphere all of its own...

Untitled Male Torso - Indian Ink

2008-09-02T03:05:00.000-07:00

For art school I've been tituing with different things for drawing and learning so many different things is such a short space of time sometimes I feel a bit thick as it takes a while at times to fully grasp what you are learning. Some things I 'get' instantly and feel quite excited about and other things take longer to understand.

This week the focus has been on using tone to build atmosphere into your work. I am now looking at some of the work I have on my wall ('Wairua' for example) and seeing things I would do differently next time

But I am thrilled with my work the other day (now 7 weeks into the course). It seems to take me a lot longer than the suggested times as I am only working with one hand at the moment as the other has to be in a sling when i am upright because the tendons and nerves are so stuffed and it is too painful to have unslung (so to speak) Slowly growing in consistency in the quality of my work and enjoying the explorations...

Art School

2008-08-30T03:11:00.000-07:00

I am thinking about starting a new blog called "Nicky J - the Art School Diaries' to catalogue the journey through artschool which started in July. Just working out how to do this and then will post a link to it - troubvle with not having been online I've forgotton all the passwords and the way things work so taking a bit of time. Unless i just continue this one and work out how to change the title to makle it easier...

June Landscape - "Arohanui" and in the studio

2008-06-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

About.com's painting project for the month is to do a landscape twice as long as it is high so I am painting one of the local churches which has a stunning ocean view from one direction and mountainous view from the other. All very mathematical initially - dividing the canvas into thirds for placement of horizon lines and objects (the taller figure is on an upright third - the ocean at the top on the horizontal third). There was something missing in the top right in the sky so I have decided to put a Maori kite in that corner so to get the placement where I wanted it once again maths with circles and triangles and strong diagonal lines.

So anyway - lines in blue chalk and initial sketch placement in yellow (I like chalk better than pencil as it does not show through at all in the final work and also is easier to shift things if you do not like where you put them.).

Two pics at the start of entry show the studio with the initial sketch and the work at the end of the first day (June 1). Pic below shows pic at end of first day - lots of work still to be done...

Exhibition changeover

2008-05-31T00:27:00.000-07:00

Exhibition change over today at the Gallery so have put in three works - could not stay as am sick but the gallery is looking lovely - really like a little boutique gallery now. The person who has been so unpredictable and tempermental was not there which made things easier.
I am also very happy to have my Grandmother home again - have been missing her portrait presiding over the kitchen goings on!

They are just small works in today - Poverty and Wealth is a new one and depicts a very poor woman (you can tell she's poor - has no shoes) wrapped up against the bitterly cold wind fishing. Called 'Poverty and Wealth' because she's poor but has wealth in that she has a lot of fish in her basket, so for tonight at least her family will not go hungry.

Other works are The one of the Amanita muscaria that I did in oils earlier this month and one completed in 2006 called "Putting out the Flounder net, 90 Mile Beach" Both of those were done on location whereas "Poverty and Wealth" was painted in the studio.

One step closer to Art School

2008-05-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

The enrolment forms are in the post as we speak.
There was a delay as we had thought that I had to send all of the information in at the same time, including the TIA forms, but was having difficulty getting actual costings etc from the school so that I could properly fill in the forms and it was all very confusing. SO I made a list of things I needed to know so I could let WINZ know including like what things would be in the starter pack so I could go and price the additional materials that are not in the starter pack and also to have written verification of costs including additional costs like the need to purchase DVD and Courier costings and any library costings etc. SO that was last night. Today Peter the OT called in and wondered WHY I had not posted in all the forms (he had done the photocopying for me last week as had no money for photocopying) and explained to him that the TIA forms could not be filled in because there was no official written down breakdown of costs verified by the TLC so I could not fill in my bit and it was quite confusing and stressful. SO he was cool and rang the school on my behalf and found out that they do not send you all of that until you have actually enrolled so he's got the passport signed for me and the enrollment forms are all in the post and next step is to write a letter with him and my new GP (whom I meet on Tuesday) so the achademic board can decide whether or not to support my need for a laptop to play the DVD's through so in the times I need to be lying down I am still able to study and also incorporate a reader writer programme on to assist with corrospondences and note reading. I was watching 'ATTITUDE", a NZ TV show that is about people with disabilities and how they manage and even have quailty of life, and last week I think it was there were a couple on there who had devised a scanner to scan in any notes and work in conjunction with a reader writer programme on the computer so I am going to have a talk with workbridge and see if this piece of equipment is a possibility.
Goodness! What a palather!!! If I knew all I needed to do was enrol first and then go from there we could have done that weeks ago!!! OH -well. At least it is another step in the right direction!

Playing with 3D

2008-05-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

Being Sunday it's my 'play day' - havn't had one in a while. I picked up some Jovi modelling clay from the stationary shop and it sat on my table all of yesteday because I did not know how you use it (there were no instructions). So today I decided just to have a play. Was going to make a bumblebee but couldn't get the unfamiliar material to do what I wanted it to so have ended up doing 3 small figures in hats (the skirts are made like pinch pots) and am calling them my "Ladies of Fashion" I will be interested to see how they dry as you don't need to fire them. The clay was lovely and soft so I did not have to 'work it up' at all and an odd bluey green colour so hoping not too toxic. As there are no instructions I also do not know if they are weather proof when dry or for inside only. Shall have to wait and see!

I am really looking forward to see what my students come up with when they use it.

Student work - abstract

2008-05-19T02:30:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely time working on a combined abstract today with one of my students. It's on raw canvas using both artists acrylics and house paint and cosigned by both of us. Was a good experience in design choices, moving with the 'flow' of a work and creating balance - knowing when to stop and when to do a little bit more.

Size is approx 1/2 a metre square. Will pop in and ask the artist neighbour tomorrow how to seal the edges of the canvas so they don't unravel. 'Fire' seems a good title.

In the weekend began the process of getting the house in order ready for the birthday exhibition in July. The first little alcove room is 'hung' and 'priced' and tidy! I also start art school in July so this next month will be busy tying up other things that need to be done before then.

'Pukana pots' - photographs of

2008-05-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

Yahoo - finished - now drying over the next couple of days so the paint can harden and be weather proof then they will be potted up with the date palms and an appropriate spot found for them outside. The photos showing the koru design is how they look on the back. The one of both pots also shows Theresa Reihana in behind them. She's the artist who ran the workshop and boy oh Boy her work is stunning. For two days it was $25 and just some kai to share with the others there so I was thrilled because i could afford that which meant I was not ruled out because of lack of finances. She talked through doing the portraits and also 'tricks' (as she called them) she uses to make things look really balanced and three dimensional and realistic (although mine still look a bit cartoony I am thrilled with them. Would not like them on my wall though! Good for outside pots!!!!) Her final portrait was amazing.

Road Kill and Pukana pots...

2008-05-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comment Tim- good advice!

I bit the bullet and went out to the workshop with Theresa Reihana today - she was doing a painting of her neice as a model so as I wanted to look at how she works I did the same thing (what her neice is doing in the photo next to the pots is called 'pukana' - where the eyes pop out almost and it's kind of a challenge)

I have too many paintings in the house so I decided to take the opportunity to paint up some large terracotta pots i was given last week along with some date palms to put in them. The palms are really pretty so decided they needed a stunning pot to each go into rather than uninterseting terracotta. With Pukana the face looks quite angry so am calling these my 'Guardian Pots' and they will go at the front entranceway. Did not get finished today os hoping to be well enough to go out tomorrow.

Not sure what conditions date palms like so hope that is OK

Pots are painted with resenes acrylic. Base colours are 'oil' and 'kaitoke green' (?) Each pot also has a green koru design on the back.

Oh - the Road Kill.... On the way I noticed a large turkey on the side of the road. The Marae hosting the workshop has a strong group of the top weavers in the North and I knew they could make good use of the beautiful black and white feathers so turned the car around and picked up the turkey. MAN what a HUGE bird and in very good nick (must have been run over at night or early morning) A BIT pongy though. Have come home with three of the enormous black and white striped wing feathers. The weavers put the birds in the freezer until they are ready to use them (The black feathers especially would be beautiful in a korowai I think or round the top of a Kite or woven basket). Everyone laughed at the workshop when I appeared dangling a dead bird!

Glitches and headaches...and postscript written later on...

2008-05-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

In the process of applying for artschool and have hit a glitch that is really stressful. Have to provide full details of costs including block courses with airfares, accommodations etc and the website for the school has none of that information on it at all - not any updated listings of upcoming courses. I am also feeling very stressed because i do not know how i would handle the travel and strange place and accommodations and cold. So I can't do the costings and have to present them to WINZ on Friday.
Glitch #2. My head is so full of wonderful ideas for things I want to do it has become a jumble and feel totally drained and exhausted. I have not even managed to prepare a meal today I am so fatigued and my head hurts so much. Everything has become a grey haze of fatigue. And feel very confused because i do not know how they do their programme - like do I get everything all at once and what if i need more materials and they are not budgetted for??? And how do I do accurate estimates when I have no idea of what I will be actually doing apart from very vague overviews?????
Glitch 3: Everything hurts. Tried to sort papers on Friday and as a result my muscles are now screaming at me. Tomorrow I am booked on a painting workshop with Theresa Reihana and right now so lacking in the ability department. I always really look forward to her workshops because she's such a skilled person yet so down to earth and easy to learn from and you always end up with something really awesome at the end of it. I've double booked with other things and needing to sort that out today. But if i can't stay out of bed then i wont be going anywhere. I am SO frustrated with the CFS.
Glitch 4: The commission work needs to be completed as she is coming to look supposedly tomorrow (yes - that is one of the double bookings). With my printer down have been unable to print out the work I have done for her and unsure of what to do.

Hmm - being an artist is not all creative fun and games!!!!

Post script...having just had an inspiration I am going to talk with someone tomorrow who has done the same programme and find out how much she paid out in extras and postage etc etc etc. Spoke with her husband today and he was very enthusiastic and told me some of the projects she worked on. They had to end up building a studio just to put all of her stuff in!!!!!
So for now i have stopped the brain rolling out ideas because apparently they give you lots of starting points to work from and build upon so pre planning now is a bit time wasting.
Local travel agent gave me a rough estimate of costs for any block courses. Pretty horrific and would far rather spend that money buying a laptop to play the course dvd's on! (All hypothetical as do not have the money anyway)
Was not aware I had no cat food so had to go and buy some so bought some mandarines at the same time and so have had mandarines, chocolate and cheese for dinner. mmm. Healthy!!! But at lease it is something.

Hey TIM.G (NC) - Just for you....

2008-05-02T21:04:00.001-07:00

This is what they look like when not covered by ones shadow when one is lying down in the grass to photograph them...

just to show they do not only exist in books!!! GRIN!

Painting on Location - the church toadstools

2008-05-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

In the last two days the most beautiful toadstools have started to come up under the oaks at the church. Went a bit camera happy and took around a hundred snaps - mostly all usable which I am thrilled with. Darn the printer being broken!!!

Went over again at 8am this morning and sat down to paint on of the emerging ones on a canvas that I had done the background on back in January. I was interested to see how the colours would go with the red of the toadstool on the deep pink base. Really pleased with the result. Subject is painted in oils.

(Vermillion, yellow, titanium, black, browns and a touch of pthalo blue and green.)

A day is always better somehow when one is able to paint.

The other news is I have been approved to apply for a loan/funding for the first year of art school (foundation year (PT)of a diploma in art and creativity).

experiments with texture

2008-04-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

Monday I watched a demo from a floral artist who had covered a fishing bouy with flax seed in order to use it as a container. It looked stunning so duely went out on a flax seed collection trip (across the road) and came back with a pitiful amount of the most georgous shiny black flax seeds. Not enough for a container so used then on the edges of a small canvas instead.

Reminiscent of the top edge of a Korowai.

Bim's Snapper

2008-04-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Today Bim collected me and we headed up North to take photos for the Orca painting and also to do a spot of fishing. Above photo is of the snapper he caught at a magical place where we stood on the wharf and watched as 3 BIG Kingfish herded a huge school of pipers and then went into a feeding frenzy. The biggest one hid in the shadows of the old wooden posts and would burst out on the unsuspecting fish as they swam past. Easily 3 ft long at the least. Bim was telling me about seeing the Orca herding stingrays up the harbour and hunting them in packs. New Zealand is the most amazing place!
Had to take a photo of the snapper because i want to paint it but if the innards are left in they will taint the flesh and have no energy to paint it tonight. Peter kindly held the dorsal fin (I think that is what it is called) upright for the photo so it looks like it is swimming. Yay for him and yay for photoshop! So snapper for tea tonight and good subject for painting in the morning. A thoroughly enjoyable day.

POST NOTE: 18 APRIL Have begun doing memory postcards of images i see that really stick in my mind and need to be painted out so the black Angus cattle on the lime green kaykouya grass (sp) and the schooling pipefish have been done over the last week. Still have not painted the snapper - my printer is playing up and refuses to print anything.

Anyway...here's the pipefish both underway and the completed image (I ended up doing 7 postcards of this altogether - one for myself, one for Bim, 1 to post and 4 to frame up and hopefully sell)(LOVE the movement and the patterning in the images)

and also the Angus series.

Kathy and her Mahi

2008-04-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

One of my friends is a very talanted worker in glass and this evening was the powhiri and exhibition opening. I have watched her working on her panels that she sketches out then cuts and fired the hand made glass sheets before painting and etching them and refiring them and finally placing and leadlighting them. Her work is just amazing.She had four works in the current exhibition along with several other top Maori women artists from the region (weavers, sculpters and korowai makers).

Datura in Oils

2008-04-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

Occasionally one has for no apparent reason more 'spoons' than other days (I will explain this some other time) today has been such a one. Wish I knew the 'key'. I dropped off my packing stuff to Sandy early this morning and noticed a rather large Datura tree in her garden with the most unusual coloured trumpets (kind of a cross between peach and salmon). So she kindly gave me some to bring home and paint. Thought they would be a watercolour as they were so delicate but have ended up using my last canvas and the new oil paints and am thrilled with the result. Had to work quite fast as the flowers drooped and wilted quickly. Am hoping that will get roots on the cutting and be able to plant in in the garden.

Photos show the stages of painting as well as the size of the actual flower (as big almost as Opal the cat). Quite spectacular!

Underpainted first in Seinna

then blocked in the negative spaces with Pthalo blue and green (have just learned about negative spaces).
I found the background 'not right' after completing the flower, so overpainted it with vermillion, sienna and pthalo blue.
The peach shadings are titanium white, vermillion and pthalo blue.There ended up being too much vermillion in the top half so toned it down a bit and now is drying a lovely deep reddish brownish colour. Will have to remove the flying insects another day!

Handmade paper experiments and disappointment

2008-04-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

Hooray - yesterday did some work on the paua using some of the handmade paper from IHC - it's really weird to work with as it responds kind of a little like blotting paper and I had to weight it down afterwards as it was buckling but the results are very soft and pleasing.

Today I've done a nice mixed waterbased 'sketch' of one of the felicia flowers from the garden. On this sheet you can clearly see the kauri sawdust that the IHC mix in with their paper pulp. I love the colours of the Felicia and the curvey stems - noticed my plant has heaps of blue butterfly eggs on it so they should be really pretty when they hatch. Seems very late in the season!

Disappointed I will not be able to make the trip down to pack up my art tommorrow. Not able to sit for the car ride down and back. Feel sorry for Snady who now is packing in down on her own!

Commission Work-experimenting with human hair

2008-03-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

Have discovered an amazing thing. I needed some form of fine resist for the paua commissions and plastic would have left too heavy an indentation. I thought of using salt again but the last time I used salt after a year the residue started kinda 'growing' on the paper which wa not great. On the spur of the moment decided to try my own hair (it's falling out at the moment anyway) as a form of resist and I am SO pleased with the resulting fine tracery on the surface of the work. Thought it would be a good idea to note it down so I can remember to do it again.

Some M.E. Insite and Inspiration for the next 'project'

2008-03-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

I amINSPIRED and so glad about that because it has given me something to focus on and take my mind off this crippling pain.

Something I just learned from the ME/CFS newsletter is that...

"RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT…
...
2. Suffering from ME/CFS is equal to late stage AIDS, patients undergoing chemotherapy and patients with multiple sclerosis. (http://cfids.org/sparkcfs/health-professionals.asp)"

At the moment I can quite believe that, as my body has packed a complete 'sad' BUT my brain is quite occupied with thoughts of my next projects now that the exhibition is 'up' in Whangerei and the art co-op has opened (it's opening today but I am not well enough to attend as am having only a few minutes up each time at the moment)

I have five projects currently simmering away in the mental pot. (eg thought process)
1. A painting project called 'Stories of the North' which will incorporate visual and written art around stories relating to this area and the people in it (I will be working on this one for a year at least)
2. A photographic expose on Tangata Whiora to open in conjunction with MH awareness week in October (putting in funding applications for this at the end of the week hopefully and have a gallery considering running the exhibition at present as part of their community mindedness ethos. Everyone I have spoken to so far are very interested in the project and keen to see it go ahead. It also will be quite a major affair logistically as will involve photo shoots on location. And facilitating framers and at the end of the exhibition I would like to be able gift the whaiora with their photographs so there is no money in it but it is a way of giving something back. Possibly also there might be a book and a calandar if the work is done right. That would help fund the materials for the next one I undertake.
3. I also want to do some work promoting local artists (incl me) and their work and in order to achieve this an opportunity has come up for free training in how to do this so I have just emailed my keeness to do this as I can see how it will help with not only this project but the other projects I have for in the future also. I like to do things 'right' and be comfortable and competent in my work, especially where it involves others so this training would be such an asset.
4.My friend has a batch at the beach she has said OK to going out and painting in- no water or electricity or loo but as a studio space on occasions it will be great. Going out there next week if I can get some time of wellness in which to do so.
5. I need to finish my self portrait and the next one is one of my Dad with Aoraki Mt Cook in the background as he loves this area so much and spends much time tramping and hiking up there.

Prob I should set some prioties for all this work!!!

Today I am hoping to be able to have some time to work on the commission piece again - it's been soaking in the bath for the last three days as I have been unable to lift the board to stretch the paper on - hopefully I will get an undestanding visitor today that I can cajole into stretching the paper for me. The down side of disability is sometimes you have to wait for someone to arrive to assist you.
Ooo - so excited because yesterday I found some handmade paper from years ago when I was tutoring literacy with IHC (they have a paper mill and taught me how to make it- I still have 6 of the sheets I made) and am really keen to see what it is like as a painting support. I've seen some nice work done on hand made paper so think it will be fun to have a 'play' and see how it responds to paint.

2008.03.09 -Man of Sorrows - Oil on Canvas

2008-03-09T13:08:00.000-07:00

The New Art Co-op is officially opening Easter weekend so I am hoping this will be dry in time for that. I have decided to use Sundays as a 'play and experiment' day so yesterday after church I pulled out the oil paints that have been sitting in a box gathering dust and worked on 'Man of Sorrows' - The title came from Isaiah 53. There's a song in D that came t o me once the work was complete which uses the words from Isaiah 53 and goes...

Man of Sorrows - by Nicky 2008

He had no beauty or majesty

Nothing in the way He looked

that we should desire Him

Despised, rejected

a Man of Sorrows

And we esteemed Him not

Yet He took our infirmities

and carried our suffering

Pierced for our transgressions

Crushed for our iniquities

Opressed and afflicted

He gave His life for us

Yet we esteemed Him not

Also did a small oil pastel with an area that had a varnish mask just to see what would happen with that which was kinda fun. I love the flexibility of oils in that you can move them around the canvas for a long time as they take so much longer than acrylic paints to dry. Just the odour is not that great for the nose (of the turps) in an enclosed space.

Exhibition of Selected Works - March 7-April 2

2008-03-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

Three hours drive, 6 hours to hang (THANKS to APT for their asistance and guidence and Daniel (?) who banged in all the concrete nails for us (including a few wacks on the thumb), and three hours to get home again. A long but successful day!

Funny thing was I had one painting of a cat that was called 'untitled' because I couldn't think of a title and a woman who came up for a looksee called out to me suggesting I call it 'Ngeru' (Maori word for cat) which fitted wonderfully well so now have a title for the painting. What fun.

It has ended up being quite an expensive venture- I will put the figures on here once i have broken it all down as it is something I need to take into account in the future.

Sandy and I were both thrilled with the overall look. It was a much bigger space than I had remembered.

Exhibition Preparations - 2 days to go!

2008-03-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

Hooray - APT have confirmed that is OK for us to go and set up on Friday Morning so today is finishing of labels, printing out and packaging greeting cards to sell and designing a 2009 photographic calendar of my work that people can pre-order at the exhibition. Tomorrow I have hydrotherapy at 10 then all the paintings need to be wrapped snugly and everything boxed up and loaded into Sandy's car ready for the next morning when we leave at 7am! At present the studio/lounge looks chaotic but is is semi organised chaos so that's fine.

Thankfully Peter is arriving this afternoon so maybe he will help with packaging the cards as that is something I find incredibally difficult to do as my hands get the shakes.{Post Note - did not get done as for some reason no yellow ink is coming through my pinter!}

Also spent some time at the new building for the Art-co-op with the clean up crew - There's a great website called FLYLADY.COM which talks you through getting your house sorted so I used her tips and used car cleaner to make the sink and benches sparkle (they look beautiful). Still a bit to go before the premesis is ready but there's another working bee down there today then a meeting on Saturday so it is looking promising. The one person who was causing a bit of dissention has opted to not be a part of it and says we will fail. YAY for us! Now only like minded people in the co-op who are fired up and keen as mustard! I think he just had a different vision than it being a place to support and provide opportunities for artists and promote their work. He saw it more of a commercial venture which it is not really although that will be a part of it.

The bonus is Sandy and I came home with carpet underlay to pack between our paintings as we lifted out the old carpet so YAY for us!!!!!

OK - Pic time - rolling up the old carpet (I've got brushes in my hair because was going to be painting the door frames where the white paint had chipped but I didn't last that long so hoping to be well enough to go down today and do it.)

Exhibition Preparations

2008-03-01T18:24:00.001-08:00

Hooray - have completed that last of the paintings (bar 1) that are going to Exhibition on the 6th March-2nd April. Today Sandy and I have met with Mark and organised to meet up down there and set up together on Friday Morning which will be nice and we've worked out how to pack the work so the canvas does not get damaged in transit (bubblewrap was just too expensive) (a three hour drive). My next task is to print out pricing labels and contact the gallery to let then know arrival times. Sandy's organising promotional flyers and we've decided that we will not have an official 'opening' this time (my purse strings will not stretch that far). I am so thrilled everything is coming together so quickly and delighted that it has provided the much needed motivation to get some of the unfinished work completed. I'll post pics of the work going down once I get them loaded on.
The initial financial outlay on any venture like this is a stretch and I was quite stressed on Friday as realised that things were pretty tight but the interesting thing - it is working out OK as even food seems to be being taken care of this week - a friend dropped off a big Kahawai yesterday which had so much meat on it that it's provided for me and the cats from yesterday and today also. Deliciously fresh and tender as roasted it in tin foil in the oven. I am looking forward to seeing what else falls into place closer to exhibition time.

A Significant event - formation of an Art Co-op

2008-03-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

Today I feel has been quite significant in my artistic journey as a group of like minded people (for the most part) met in a building that is up for rent and has the potential to be a cute boutique gallery and working space and discussed the formation of an 'art co-op' - something I have been discussing of late with other artist friends also as there is nothing like that up here yet. How GREAT to be joining in with other like minded artists in the community to have a space where we exhibit and hold workshops encourage one another and others. It's quite a cute building inside with 1 main area and 3 off rooms as well as kitchen, toilet, bathroom and small outside area. It was good today was not a sunny day as we got to see what the natural lighting was like inside (very important with wet winters here). The Local arts council have given a grant for the first months rental of the premisis which is great because then we can just focus on getting it up and running. I think we need to have some clear vision and guidelines and systems in place for people to follow otherwise it could be fraught with problems down the track and the 'vision' of the place may get lost but the core group of people all seem very similar in thought so quite excited about the possibilities.

For Ash and Me and Others - The painting of the Maori Anglican Church where the Bishop Of Jerusalem Spoke this week

2008-02-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is one of last years watercolours ( About A4 in size) and also happens to be the same church where the Bishop of Jerusalem spoke to a small congregation and delivered communion earlier this week. It was both an honour and a joy to meet him and his wife. He spoke in English and prayed in Arabic - very cool! He spoke on reconciliation and love for all mankind irrespective of religious beliefs. He spoke of Christian, Muslum and Jew working together as humanitarians over and above religious differences to aid and assist those in suffering and in need. He spoke with us as you would speak to a brother or a sister, not as some great spiritual 'big wig'. I was impressed by his apparent humility and genuineness.
A privilidge and a joy to be able to give him a thank you card with the image on the on the front as a reminder of his whanau in the North.

Countdown to Exhibition - 1 week to go

2008-02-26T23:43:00.000-08:00

Well, the PLAN is down for what needs to be done in order to be ready to exhibit within the week, and I have confirmed by email and phone that the intent is to go ahead with the new dates, although have not heard back as yet. Another couple of artists are going in with me which always adds another dimension.
Today I learned, however, that CFS is NO respector of plans, even if they are written down in big bold letters and sometimes your body completely fails to do what it is required to.Hopefully will be able to get back on track in the morning.

A Day Of Visitors

2008-02-24T11:40:00.001-08:00

Thank God for Beautiful Fruits and Veg. This morning had a surprise visit from a German friend who came bearing the most beautiful auberguine I had seen in a long time and spend two hours helping me restake the sweetcorn that was trashed in the storm and try and salvage the tomatoes AND he even decided he wanted to wash some dishes!

The Auberguine was SO handsome with it's tinkerbell like top and dark glossy skin that it needed to be painted but the dilemma I faced is I really did not want to be painting more 'real' things for a while so instead I made it into a nice watercolour card which I will package up to sell. I have found that mixing ultramarine blue and az. crimson gives you the greatest auberguine purple for the skin tones.

More visits in the afternoon with my artist neighbour inviting me for fennel tea in unusual pottery tea cups in exchange for looking at her TV tuning and then later on had a visit from another new friend who is a stained glass artist from London which was very nice.

Today I need to make some decisions as i got the months wrong for the upcoming exhibition - apparently i am supposed to be starting in a week and running for March (I had thought it was April). Would be great to have the work up as that would mean i was exhibiting over Easter which would be ideal, it would also mean all of the work prior to the Black and White painting would be elsewhere so I could have a month free to focus on developing in that area and not being distracted by all my other work.

I also need to be getting a portfolio ready to send to The Learning Connection in April and looking for how to fund that -

Mmm. so much to do and organise!!!

The' Black and Whites' - Painting out the Pain

2008-02-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

Went through a period where felt 'lost' and was unable to paint because all I seem to be doing is producing more and more work that will end up needing to be stored somehow HOWEVER what I REALLY wanted to do is just go 'hard-out' and paint, I mean REALLY paint - not technical exercises or actual things necessarily but to look upon a blank or textured background canvas and wait for the canvas to show me what needs to be drawn out of it.

So YAHOO! Back on track again and SO much happier with the results.

This one's called 'painting out the pain' and is, I guess looking on it now, an expression of self - in that it is about how I view Life with CFS and how it affects me in some ways. I love the cleanness of it - just used the raw canvas with titanium white and paynes grey.

I've found a way to paint that is not too painful - if I set the easle up at a low level on the outside porch then sit on a couch cushion so I don't have to raise my arms higher than waist height then the pain is dramatically reduced and bearable (have torn the tendons in both shoulders now and nerve inflammation and muscle pain is pretty synonomous with CFS). SO thrilled to have found a way to paint again at an upright easle.

The wee chap below I have put on especially for my NC friends who get chills about spiders - he was right next to me on the lemon tree yesterday and kept me company whilst painting. Had caught a beautiful metallic fly for his lunch clever chap!

Native Parrot Fish - using a limited pallette

2008-01-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

An artists life is full of opportunities and unusual events if one keeps ones eyes wide open...

Yesterday was a day off so went costal for the morning. Caught nothing I was allowed to keep and so decided to have a final fish and a bit of a dip in the rivermouth at Taipa. Unbeknownst to me there was a HUGE fishing competition on based at the same place so I arrive in my very casual attire and wade out with my rod and cast into the current where the river hits the sea (sometimes when the kahawai are running you can pull in a few nice fish). Well - not a sausage! and the sun was beating down so decided to head for home.

Waded into shore and there right in front of me just floating along was the most perfectly positioned black fish - rigormotous had set in so it was positioned to look like it was swimming. So I scooped it up - someone had thoughtfully scaled it already - must have been one of the competition catches. Even though it was fresh I was a bit too chicken to eat it so instead saved it for today to use as a subject study. These fish though are beautiful eating if gutted and stuffed with a little salt and lemon and olive oil, wrapped in tin foil and baked in the oven, YUM!

1. Background was already done last year waiting for the appropriate subject matter. Laying in the outlines and position using chalk - want the eye to be in the middle of the first third line...

2. The stomach was very bloated this morning and the flies began to gather after a few minutes of the fish being out even there was no real smell of offness. It was an interesting painting experience because the fish grew whiter and the eyes dulled as the painting progressed so I had to keep in mind what it looked like when I initially scooped it out of the water. The eyes surprised me as I thought fish eyes were round but these were not totally. I'm using mussel shells instead of a palette board at the moment.

3. After 2 hours of painting. Palette used: Lemon yellow, titanium white, phthalo blue and burnt seinna

2008-01-14T11:43:00.001-08:00

2 hours work yesterday inbetween funerals and other such events. In the morning worked on two backgrounds after being inspired by Craigie Aitchison's works and his bold usage of colour.

In the evening I set my alarm to work for an hour on the portrait - taking the hair back a bit, altering the skin tones and lengthening the neck.

Exhibition - January - and working on the portrait

2008-01-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

I find that exhibitions are always a bit of a 'high' - especially being around like minded people and just being there as an artist and nothing else. It is a wonderful feeling. Oddly for some reason all of us on 'duty' yesterday took out portraiture work to do - very interesting looking at the difference in our styles. All in all a wonderful day of chatting with the public coming through, setting up future painting 'exploits' with other artists (Sandy and I are off to visit someone new we met at the exhibition as she has a lovely church in her area she thought we might like to paint so that will be a nice day trip on Monday to an area I have not explored yet at all. A teacher from Te Hapua has also invited us up there for a painting/ photography shoot (that might have to be an overnighter I think).

The self portrait is really beginning to come together. At the 'eye stage' now and will then have to go back and rework the skin tones a litle as she looks a bit lifeless for some reason.

Sandy playing at the start of yesterday - chalking in where she would place the features (on my request of course).

Exhibition Set Up - January 2008

2008-01-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

My first exhibition for the year is always part of a fundraiser that local artists hang work for and a percentage of anything sold goes towards one of the local schools which is FABULOUS!!! The organisers are just lovely and they couldn't have been more helpful today - it was SO hot and humid it would have been very easy to be stressed and crabby but they were charming to everyone and really helpful.

It's the second year I have been part of this fundraiser and as a result I was able to be so much more organised and more relaxed and not so stressed as I know they do a good job of looking after everything. The location is just beautiful - right on a beach usually full of tourists at this time of the year - so afterwards my friend insisted we go for a walk in the ocean and it was just perfect. Beautiful overcast day and shell strewn beach with lovely warm semitropical water and not too many people. Couldn't ask for more than that.

I LOVE group exhibitions up here - nice to catch up with art mates to say 'happy new year' and the atmosphere is so friendly and sociable. A huge variety of artists from potters to painters to photographers to framers to tapersters. And everyone keen to help everyone else with the hanging of the work. I used my old fishing line to hang the framed photos - good and strong and invisible on the walling. I was also given a display stand that a local pharmacy were throwing out that I repainted up and with a few toast racks it has made the perfect user friendly card stand. I am so thrilled with it.

Janet's display...

M.E. - a portrait of self (2)

2008-01-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

Have been working today on the self portrait started a couple of days ago - see the next post for the initial sketch and blocking in of the background. AM really pleased with how I have ended it today although have re blocked out the eyes and mouth as they just were not 'right' and were annoying me. The joy of working with acrylic is it dries quickly and you can overpaint areas that you are unhappy with.

Will not be working on it anymore this week as am off to the pain clinic and then I will be getting ready for next weeks exhibition which has to be set up on Monday. Fortunately my neighbour is also involved in the same exhibition so we will set up together - only exhibiting some photography and one painting and cards this time so will be an easy set up I hope.

'M.E. - a portrait of self'

2007-12-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got inspired watching a documentary on Rita Angus and decided it would be a great way to end the year with a self portrait. The initial sketch is on a canvas block but because at the moment I am so ill I did it whilst in bed. Was horrified at how ill I actually looked when studying the mirror. My face is all inflamed and the eyes are all sunken with dark black rings.

Today I spent some time blocking in the background and took a photo to help with the finishing off of the portrait as do not want to paint in bed as have not found a way to do that yet that does not get paint everywhere. Tried to look a bit more cheery in the photo so the final portrait should not look so 'blah' (for want of a better word)

Am calling it 'M.E. - a self portrait' or 'M.E. - a portrait of self'

Students at work

2007-12-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

Over the year there have been several young people come and paint with me - usually after school- all great fun, lots of laughter and learning and luckily for me they can paint in the outside studio during fine weather where they can be a bit 'free-er' with the materials if they need to.

I find the windows especially useful when practicing things like portraits, or to sketch out an idea with them - if you use whiteboard pens the glass wipes clean really easily.

We had our end of year breakup yesterday although from what I hear they are keen to go and paint out at a local wharf (and do some fishing at the same time) so might have to organise a 'feild trip' in a few weeks.

I've been promising to post some pictures of them at work so there they are...

Exhibition Opening

2007-12-02T02:17:00.000-08:00

The Gallery Exhibition for the people on the workshop opened with a traditional welcome with each speaker being followed by waiata (song) before we headed inside ot have a look.

Wont put in all of the photos but you can get a feel of what was up.

1. The weavers looking at their work (these women are very talented).

2. 2 of the girls who were on the workshop and their paintings.

3. The Maori Madonna was hung high above a window - got some good feedback but it was very hard to read the writing when so high up. But it was lovely to have her up.

4. Nga Kai - lots of Kai Moana - sweet smoked fish, aromatic Mussels, fried bread, and a BIG pot of boil up (puha and porkbones) and a wonderful selection of fresh fruits (strawberries and grapes etc). After everyone finished looking we all shared a meal together before heading home.

Art and Craft Expo 2007

2007-11-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

They call them 'GOLD days' - days where you have great amounts of happiness and togetherness and wellness and vibrancy - where life seems brighter and more intense and more 'lived' somehow.

Leading up to the Expo was pretty stressful with so much to do and the weekend before I came down with what was thought to be food poisoning and landed in hospital and was pretty crook for the next few days but thankfully all my marketing stuff was done and work organised and had some kind people step in and lend a hand.

Everyone set up on Wednesday, the opening wine and cheese was Wednesday evening and then the Expo ran for the rest of the week.

A wonderful time of meeting up again with exhibitors, meeting new people and interfacing with the public coming through, and both selling and buying and chatting happening everywhere. Great fun.

I brought a watercolour of blue poppies and a really pretty kite with shells woven into the rim and a wooden heart shaped bowl made of oak. (The watercolour you can see in the pic)

At the end of it my neighbour and I (we shared a space to keep costs down) put our feet up with takeaways and a good movie and a spot of red and just relaxed.

This Friday I have 'The Maori Madonna' going into a combined exhibition at an actual gallery with all of the other people who did the same Workshop I was on which will run until the end of January - am really looking forward to seeing that all set up. Maori Madonna has been priced at $350 and the gallery will double that price as they take 50% so she will sell in Gallery for $700 (here's hoping anyway). And if she does not sell that is OK because i will use her as a reference for skin tones anyway. Hoping to be able to commandeer a camera guy to go and do some filming of the opening and the people who have put their work in to it. We shall see.

The Maori Madonna

2007-11-13T22:17:00.000-08:00

I have been fortunate enough to be able to study under an exceptional Maori Artist and look at how she does her portraits which has been a wonderful experience. Today is my second day of working on this portrait of the Madonna. Normally my portraits do not fill up the entire canvas so this was a new learning curve for me. I have wanted to work with her for a while now to look especially at how she does her skin tones because I have struggled in my own work to not loose darker toned people in the painting.

Above pic shows stage two of working on the eyes - the last thing to do in the portrait.

At the end of Day 2 almost everything is almost completed. The eyes have been finished so that they are staring straight out at the viewer and follow the viewer around as they move from place to place - kind of like having a painting staring back at you. Baby's eyes are a little too large so will shrink them in the next working.

Being 'in-the-moment' - an exploration into Expressionism

2007-11-06T00:50:00.000-08:00

The student who paints with me on Tuesdays and I have been exploring 'Expressionism' for the last two weeks.

Artists like Van Gough and Kandinsky painted in this style. Another term for it is 'Fauvism'. It's where you use intense raw colours, wild brush work, abstracted subjects broken down to their simplest forms and loads of emotion (portraying emotion through the use of colour).

When doing today's painting I initially wanted to convey the idea of 'denial' - the background is made up of turbulent reds and blacks and deep Ultramarine blue all wound up in horizontal chaos yet there is the girl on the swing - fiery hair flung out in loose abandon, clothed in gold and yellow (colours of happiness and joy and wealth) and a touch of orange (excitement and spirituality), shoes flung off goodness knows where as she totally casts off the world and all it's cares.

After I finished painting I hung it on the wall for a bit to see what title would fit it best.

The more I looked the more I realised this is not a painting about 'denial' of life and it's problems. It is a painting about living in the moment, and maxing out on life.

For a start the girl is on the upward rise, not the downward fall of the swing. Her legs are outstretched, taking her higher, lifting her beyond her limitations. I was reminded of a child. When a child is on a swing they are totally lost in the moment - carefree and full of abandon. The cares of the world cease to exist. They are completely free.

So here it is - today's work

Simply titled - "Being 'in-the-moment'"

November Exhibition Preparations - Marketing week

2007-11-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

Have set side this week to get all of the marketing side of things organised so that next week I can concentrate purely on choosing which paintings are going to be displayed and doing a 'mock hanging' to get the layout right. I am sharing an area with a friend of mine so we need to ensure our work looks right together before exhibition day arrives.

Yesterday I spent the morning revamping the old business cards and turning some of this years paintings into greeting cards to sell at the exhibition. I've also started putting together a portfolio on each work that people will be able to browse through as they come to my part of the exhibition (it's a group one of about forty artists and crafts people from the region).

Today I have a student coming to paint with me in the afternoon so no time to work on marketing. Tomorrow's task is to begin laying out a brochure. Publisher is such an asset! It was so easy to go and make changes yesterday to the business cards and run them through my printer - I dread to think the cost if I had used commercial printers.

The 'Golly' series

2007-11-02T22:46:00.000-07:00

See side panel for actual photo of the original Golly.

The first Painting of Golly was done around 1989 - a crude attempt at pointillism

The second last year as a Christmas present for my niece.

The third completed yesterday as an exploration into expressionism.